It’s time we talk about the C word.

Sadly, it’s quite likely that cancer will affect your sex life. Why? Because chances are you, or someone you love, will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in your lives.

There’s an ugly silence around the reclamation of the sexual self after cancer. Most Oncologists, don’t talk about the loss, only the mechanics. For example, some people are told to use condoms while doing chemotherapy to protect their partners. But some aren’t even told that much.

Is the assumption that it doesn’t really help or that people undergoing treatment wouldn’t be having sex? In today’s medical system, siloed specialization focuses on treating the disease but not treating the person. The wholeness of the person, including their quality of sensual life, is simply not addressed. Most oncologists aren’t trained in basics of human sexuality, much less be able to help people during and after treatment. People are left to figure it out for themselves.

Cancer sucks, and so does this silence.

Many experience concerns such as…

• “My body can’t do the sexy things I used to love.”
• “I want to enjoy the things we did, but it doesn’t feel good anymore.
• “Why would you want to touch this body?”
• “No one will desire me, ever again.”
• “How can anyone love me now that I’m not the sexual being I was before?”
• “If I have sex organs removed how will that affect my sense of my gender ?”
• “I’m non-binary/transgender with breast cancer – I didn’t even like them to begin with and now, this.”

You’re not alone.

Pain from surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation can cause loss of libido and function. Hormone changes that occur with some cancer treatments, such as loss of estrogen in breast cancer patients, can cause loss of libido.  These are all true…. It doesn’t help that the medical industry’s attitude seems to be “hey, you’re not dead, don’t complain,” “use lube, it’ll be fine,” and “that’s not my specialty. Talk to your gyno or therapist.”

Here are the big C stats:

• 1 in 8 cisgender women and 1 in 100 cisgender men  are diagnosed with breast cancer
• 1 in 8 people born with a prostate are diagnosed with prostate cancer
• There are about 18 million cancer survivors in the US (including survivors of cancer in adulthood and childhood)
• It is possible that hormones used in gender-affirming care can increase cancer risks, so this is an added layer of struggles for trans people who use hormone therapy.

So let’s talk about it.

Brandie is a breast cancer survivor and a sex therapist working with people with various illnesses. Great sex is possible after a cancer diagnosis!

Cancer brings loss as well as new opportunities for sexual exploration. As long as you have your brain, you can be sexual.

In this program, Brandie and Midori will discuss how cancer can affect sexuality by changing our bodies, our hormones, and our mood.  Brandie will share some insights from her personal experience going through breast cancer treatment and the aftermath, as well as knowledge gained as a sex therapist.

https://www.Patreon.com/posts/72247617

Free for Patreon subscribers of $5 and above.

Zoom link will be posted 2 days before the event 

Content Warning:

There will be images of post-mastectomy photos that may be graphic to some.

This talk will be recorded:

However, only Midori & Brandie will appear in the video. You can choose your level of participation

ABOUT BRANDIE

” We did not come here just to suffer and then die. We all deserve pleasure.”

Brandie practices counseling via telehealth in Texas and Colorado. She specializes in sexuality, trauma/EMDR, and illness.  Brandie graduated with an MS in Counseling from SMU. A two-time breast cancer survivor, Brandie has written for cancerwise.org, and speaks to cancer survivors, counselors, and other professionals about cancer survivorship.   In addition to counseling, Brandie has been teaching yoga, meditation, & Ayurveda since 2005, and is a Certified Yoga Teacher at the 500-hour level.  Brandie is crazy about her three children, traveling, and living an artful life with big adventures.

Website: https://www.therapyden.com/therapist/brandie-sellers-mckinney-tx

Facebook: @BrandieSellersCounselor
Instagram: @Brandie.Sellers