Essential Rope Bondage: Step 1 Forget the Rope — Srsly by Midori

Let’s continue with our ongoing conversation on getting you the hot rope play you deserve.

First step — Forget the rope.

Yup, I do mean exactly this.

“Hold this rope and tell me what you feel” she said. She was one of my first formal teachers. She said this the day she was considering whether to take me on as a student.

Nearly three decades later, I realize she didn’t go far enough in the first lesson.

Today, I ask you to not touch the rope for the first few minutes of transitioning into play. Don’t even bring it out of the toy bag.

Uh uh! No. Hands-off!

Instead, focus on the kernel of your desire in the depth of your want. Focus on your partner.

What are you and your partner truly hungry for? What does your joys look like? How exactly will pleasure feel like to both of you today?

Is it sensual? Is it rambunctious? Are you needing quiet? Do you hunger like a feral beast? Do you want to slide into the abyss? Would you like to soar among the clouds of euphoria?

Getting this, grasping it, owning it truly, at your gut-level will guide you, even subconsciously, towards that passionate goal. It’ll be the true north of your desire that leads your play to untold delights — or at least a funtastic night. It’ll help you past stumbles and indecisions. (Hey, like I wrote before, decisiveness is super sexy!) You’ll feel more sure of yourself. Less effortful. The wind of desire will be in your sail as you smoothly play towards ‘the good stuff’. (Ok, I’m not going to call it bliss, because that’s just too damned corny.)

When we grab the rope first, and not take those few critical moments of check-in, that’s when we lose grip on the situation. Sure, you can right the course of the scene, but it’ll just be more work and feel more clumsy. You might even wonder afterwards if you got what you wanted. What did you want anyway?

 

 

This is when I feel like a Labrador in a tennis ball factory. It’s not a sexy look on me.

If we grab the ropes first thing, we start to think about the shapes of the bondage, the names of the ties, or worse yet, the damned knots. Now we’re mired in the HOW, losing sight of the WHY and losing our way to the shortest path to OMG.

So, first, forget rope you will.

 

 

(yeah I sound like f**king Yoda. Hey, did you know all of us Asians eventually end up looking like Yoda if we life long enough? It’s true. Just ask my gran. Then duck for cover. She’s got a killer aim.)

Come to Rope Dojo and I’ll say more Rope Yoda / Auntie Midori stuff and make you do drills and stuff.

 

Wax on Wax off. Rope on Rope off. Undo you do!

 

← Cover & pages from my book, Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage. Published in 2001, this was the first full English language instructional about Shibari. It seems funny now that back then, neither the publisher nor myself knew if the book would sell. Rope Bondage, especially shibari, was a very niche group pursuit outside of Japan, and not many people were keen on it in North America and Europe then.

All my various classes are listed at FHP-inc.com