October 1, 2009

Table Of Contents
1. Why "losing your virginity" is a loser concept
2. New! "Passionate Bonds" D/s Protocol Weekend w Laura Antoniou & Midori
3. October classes/events (London, Somerset UK, Copenhagen, Rope Dojo 2, Santa Cruz CA, San Francisco, LA)
4. Preview November (Washington DC, Tokyo, Toronto, Ottawa)
5. Next Forte Femme. March 19 - 21, 2010 San Francisco
6. On Twitter now, and Other On-line Haunts: Twitter, FetLife, Yahoo, Tribe, FaceBook etc


Here's a little known pet peeve of mine.
It's the phrase "losing your virginity."

It's a common enough conversational topic about how we began our sexual journey. Yet the phrase is loaded with archaic and medieval notions of sexuality.
Even among many of the socially and sexually progressive you'll hear that phrase tossed out without thought to the baggage it carries.

What messages are imbued in that phrase?
That we had something which is now and forever gone, and one is somehow lacking after sex. It implies that sex is only legitimate when it's genitally penetrative and all other acts are, conveniently or insensitively, inconsequential. It implies that the act of penetration, despite intention and circumstances, defines a new phase of life.

An intact hymen, the vaginal membrane, proved the value of a young woman, as a marriageable property in the economics of family resources. It supposedly proved the moral value and character of a woman. In many parts of the world it still does, so much so that girls are murdered for a damaged hymen. In other parts of the world, plastic surgeons make a pretty penny off of wealthy young women seeking hymen reconstructive surgery.

Boys rarely suffer character tarnishing from the first penetrative act. Rather, they were considered to gain something, often at the cost of the girl, like some weird and tragic zero sum game.

For people whose first genital penetrative event wasn't consensual, or wasn't about sex or pleasure, the phrase often forces them to forever define their sexuality from that incident on.

All this just doesn't seem right if we want to create a just and humanistic world, which recognizes sexuality as part of the whole personhood.

"When did you claim your sexuality?"
This is how I prefer to phrase the questions. How's that for a new twist on words and implications?

Sexuality is part of one's humanity. Sexual responsibility is part of adulthood responsibility, to be taken seriously and reverently as all other grown-up privileges. We can choose to look at sex as something that happens to our passive body, like the measles, or we can consider sex as something we participate in as active agents.

We learned to ride a bike. We weren't taken for a ride by the bike.

Ask yourself "when and how did I claim my adult sexual rights?"
How does that feel?

Next time the topic comes up, ask, "When and how did you claim your sexuality?"
And see how the attitudes and answers shift.
Give it a try. It's really interesting.

Wishing you peace and pleasure.


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WHAT: "Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol"

WHERE / WHEN: - November 27 - 29, Toronto, Canada

COST: $450 first person in the order. $400 for each additional individual.
Registration for both locations open September 18th at http://www.FHP-inc.com/classes.php

Join Marketplace author Laura Antoniou and educator Midori for a special weekend intensive designed for people who enjoy authentic power dynamics and D/s, who want to consciously create quality relationships that suit their personal hungers and needs in the context of the real world.

Far beyond what you can learn from a book or a standard seminar, participants will be guided through a special curriculum designed to clearly identify their value system, behavior preferences and relationship goals.

Through the unique curriculum and its innovative tools, each individual or relationship unit will create their own customized manual of effective protocol, rules, etiquettes and codes of conducts.

Class size will be strictly limited to allow for a unique quality experience emphasizing individualized attention.


Q. Do I need to bring a partner?
A. No! Anyone may attend, partnered or not.

Q. I am fairly new and my partner and I are exploring options. Is this for me?
A. This is perfect for you; come on in and discover your passions.

Q. I have been in the Scene for a while and I have considerable experience. Can this be helpful for me?
A. Absolutely. Crystallize your experience and desires into a tangible and intentional format, which will allow for greater success in your current and future relationships. Come and reacquaint yourself with the dreams and desires that brought you into the scene, and find out things about yourself and your partner(s) you might not have seen before.

Q. My primary and I have a submissive - can all three of us come?
A. Pricing for this intensive is purposefully set to allow for "relationship units" of every size; this is by no means 'couples only'!

Q. Is this a play event? Will there be play parties?
A. While the Passionate Bonds weekend won't be hosting play parties, the local play space will be great to go and explore. The weekend's emphasis is on the heart and mind of creating an on-going D/s-based relationship, so get plenty of sleep and be prepared to think! There will be sections where physical actions of protocol will be studied and acted out. Beyond that, we encourage the attendees to create their own playtime as part of the weekend.

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3. UPCOMING CLASSES / EVENTS OCTOBER: (London UK, Somerset UK, Copenhagen DK, Santa Cruz CA, San Francisco, Los Angeles)

• Thr 10/1 "JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man" for Wild Women at Bordello lingerie boutique. Location: 55 Great Eastern Street, London EC2A 3HP Series of Salons for Coco De Mer.
Info & Registration:

• Wed 10/7 "Tricks to Please a Man" South Kensington store, 108 Draycott Avenue, London SW3 2AE

• Thr 10/8 "Rosy Cheeks" South Kensington store, 108 Draycott Avenue, London SW3 2AE

• Fri 10/9 "How to Eat a Peach: Pleasuring Her" South Kensington store, 108 Draycott Avenue, London SW3 2AE

• Mon 10/12 "Tricks to Please a Man" Covent Garden store, 23 Monmouth Street, London WC2H 9DD

• Tue 10/13 "Bedroom Burlesque & Seductions for Beginners" Covent Garden store, 23 Monmouth Street, London WC2H 9DD

• Tue 10/6 Private Salon for the members of SoHo House

• Sat 10/10 A special presentation just for Manifest Club!

• Wed 10/15 "Rosy Cheeks: Beginner's Guide to Love Swats, Spankings, Paddling and More" at Pure Pleasure Boutique. 204 Church Street, Santa Cruz, CA 95060 Tel: 831.466.9870

• 10/16 through 10/18 Rope Bondage Dojo® Stage II
Pre-requisite: Successful graduation of Rope Bondage Dojo® Stage I.
Registration opens Tuesday, September 1st at www.RopeDojo.com

• Tue 10/20 "Art of Feminine Dominance, Level 1" at Good Vibrations on Polk St. 620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street) San Francisco, CA 94109. (415) 345-0400

• Tue 10/22 "Predicament Bondage" at Good Vibrations on Polk St. 620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street) San Francisco, CA 94109. (415) 345-0400

• Thr 10/24 "Rope Dance: Dynamic Passionate Movements" at The Citadel. 1277 Mission St. (at 9th St.)
Yoga meets assisted stretching, meets contact improvisational dance, meets Tango with a touch of Fight Club! Pair tix $50, Solo tix $30 1pm - 4pm. Register on line or tickets at door

• Tue 10/27 "JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man" at Coco De Mer 8618 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90069 Tel: 310 652 0311

• Wed 10/28 "How to Eat a Peach: Pleasuring Her" at Coco De Mer 8618 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90069 Tel: 310 652 0311

• Thr 10/29 "Hands-on Rope Bondage" at Coco De Mer 8618 Melrose Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90069 Tel: 310 652 0311

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4. PREVIEW: NOVEMBER CLASSES / EVENTS (Washington DC, Tokyo, Toronto, Ottawa)

• Wed 11/4 "Aural Sex: Seduction by Voice" hosted by Whole DC. Location info soon.

• Thr 11/5 "Wrapped for Pleasure: Easy Sex Bondage with Scarves" hosted by Whole DC. Location info soon.

• Fri 11/6 - Sun 11/8 "Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol" info is at .

• Sat 11/14 Japan Fetish Ball by Tokyo Kink Society. Just hanging out and "researching"!

• 11/20 - 11/22 Mini classes at the Everything To Do With Sex Show. Friday, 9:30pm. Saturday, 2:30pm, Sunday 2:30pm.

• Sat 11/21 "Bedroom burlesque and seduction for beginners: A wiggle-jiggle-take-it-all-off-with-confidence workshop" at Red Tent Sisters.

• Tue 11/24 "Hands-on Rope Bondage" at Come As You Areboutique.

• Wed 11/25 "Hands-on Rope Body Harness" at Come As You Areboutique.

• Fri 11/27 - Sun 11/29 "Passionate Bonds: Weekend Intensive for Conscious D/s & Protocol" .

• Tue 12/1 "JoyStick Secrets: How to Thrill a Man" at Venus Envy.

• Wed 12/2 "Bedroom Burlesque and Seduction for Beginners: Wiggle, Jiggle, Take It Off with Confidence!" at Venus Envy.

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A little heads-up... I know many of you like to plan ahead.
Forte Femme, Women's Weekend Intensive on Sensual Dominance returns to San Francisco! This immersion weekend is limited to 10 women.

When: Fri 3/19 through Sun 3/21/2010
Where: Hyatt Regency San Francisco Airport
Cost: $650/per person.
Register: Advanced registration required.

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Here are the various places I waste time at when I'm on-line... Drop on by!
You'll find me on Twitter as @PlanetMidori
Personal Blog
Kink Q&A
Sexuality Q&A
Facebook as "Midori ReallyMidori"
Fet Life Midori_SF
My Space

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